Now what?
If you have read this book and still want to believe in the Biblical God, you are free to do so. However, until you can provide answers for all the contradictions and problems with the Christian faith, laid out in this book, I ask you to stop pushing your religion on other people. You might have faith, but it is based on lies and deceit. You do not have a foot to stand on. So please, keep your religion to your self.
But if you have read this book and have accepted the basic truth that the Biblical God does not exist and if he does, he does not deserve your worship, then here are some pointers for your.
Basic self help advice
What do you do in the days and weeks after walking away from bible addiction and churchly habits? Here are a few tips:
1. You can relax now. You will need some time to stop feeling guilty about the whole thing. It took me some time, while all this information was settling in, to shake of the guilt and start having peace in my heart about my newfound freedom. You will be going through a paradime shift.
2. Give yourself plenty of time alone to read, reflect, and relax. If you have been in a church environment for a while, you have probably been scheduling your life based on others' needs and expectations. Organized religious activity, even in the smallest groups, requires the reinforcement of frequent meetings and Biblical "home study" to keep it alive. In the process, you may have forgotten the things you genuinely enjoyed doing in your spare time before you became entangled in a web of rituals and obligations. Unplug your telephone on Sunday morning and doze until noon if you like. Take up a new sport. Read a magazine. Soak in the bathtub. Take a long walk. Start new or old hobbies again. Your weekends are yours again, so enjoy it. Get to know yourself better.
3. The chances are good that friends and family will reject you, because of your decision. Do not take it personally and do not reject them in return. Be open to share what you have learned but do not get into arguments, it is not worth it. All you can do is show them what you have learned and why you have made your decision.
4. Avoid extreme behaviour. A lot of us who walked away from religion did so partly because of being betrayed, hurt, and/or used by other Christians. When you really "wake up and smell the coffee" there is a sudden tendency to want to go out and get drunk, have promiscuous sex, or otherwise look for trouble. Obviously there is nothing wrong with having fun and enjoying all life's pleasures (if I believed otherwise I may as well still be in church), but acting out of pent-up anger and frustration will probably result in your causing an accident, getting your ass kicked, catching a sexually transmitted disease, or the like. Keep in mind that after months or years of letting other people do a lot of your thinking for you, you are vulnerable mentally and emotionally. Now that you are a free person again, savour the simple pleasures of life first, and save any hell rising for later when you are more stable.
5. Avoid joining any spiritual organization for a while... or for that matter any group that gets personally involved with you and makes demands on your time and energy. For many this may be an unnecessary admonition, but for others there is the temptation to "rebound" into another group out of fear of being isolated, misunderstood, or not belonging to something. Just like in walking away from romantic relationships, rebounding into another exploitative or dysfunctional situation is a real danger. Just as biblical groups sell "the one true way" to former followers of Eastern and New Age philosophies, cults and rip-off groups look for disgruntled Christians who are ripe for the next big spiritual revelation or feel-good group experience.
6. Learn to be a reader. Discover the joy of reading all the things that used to be forbidden to you, or simply reading to learn a new craft or study a subject you have always been curious about. Now that you are not expected to plough through the entire Old Testament once a year, or some such nonsense, you can use all that time much more fruitfully. Explore the greatest thoughts of people from all walks of life and all ranges of experience. Read biographies and you will surprised how many of the world's greatest minds had brushes with destructive religion in adult life, or were raised in religious families and had to overcome superstition and fear as they formed their identities. You are by no means alone in struggling with questions about the meaning of life and your place in the universe.
7. In your process of figuring out what view of the universe works for you, remember that you are not required to label yourself for the outside world or to belong to any particular philosophy or view. Don't let people (Christians or atheists or anyone in between!) pressure you into putting yourself into a box for them. What you believe or do not believe is your own business and if it changes and evolves over time or makes sense only to you, that is perfectly fine. People love labels and pat explanations so they will not have to think too hard. However, if you have just walked away from bible religion, you are rediscovering the joy of thinking freely. So do not waste your time or share your personal story with people who are looking for simple sound-bytes and will not enjoy thinking expansively along with you.
