Ezekiel – General
And Ezekiel eating manuscripts, prophesying siege and desolation, with visions of coals of fire, and cherubim, and wheels with eyes, and the type and figure of the boiling pot, and the resurrection of dry bones is of no use, of no possible value. I say that any one who admires Ezekiel should be compelled to dine with him.
Ezekiel 3:20 - If a good person does something wrong after God "lays a stumbling block before him," then God will kill him. "He shall die in his sin" and whatever good he has done will be forgotten.
Ezekiel 3:24-26 - God tells Ezekiel to be bound by ropes and then he makes Ezekiel's tongue stick to the roof of his mouth. How this is supposed to help spread the word of God is anyone's guess.
Ezekiel 4:9 - The vegan’s swears by "Ezekiel 4:9" bread. It's supposed to be made according to the recipe given in this verse and is said to be a complete meal that satisfies all nutritional requirements. I guess that's how Ezekiel managed to survive 390 days lying on his side and eating only this bread. It seems like pretty darned good bread to me, too, but I can't wait until they start making bread using the procedure described in Ezekiel 4:12.
Ezekiel 4:12 - God tells Ezekiel to eat barley cakes that are made with "the dung that cometh out of man." Yum!
Ezekiel 4:16-17 - God punishes everyone in Israel, including children, by causing a drought and famine.
Ezekiel 5:10 - God will cause the fathers to eat their sons and the sons to eat their fathers.
Ezekiel 5:11-17 - God says that he will mercilessly slaughter everyone by killing one third with plagues, one third with famines, and one third with wars. If any somehow survive, he'll send "evil beasts" to devour them. Finally, after he's done killing, he "will be comforted."
Ezekiel 6:4-5 - God plans to decorate the land with human bones and dead bodies.
Ezekiel 6:7-14 - God makes his presence known by killing people with famine, disease, and war.
Ezekiel 7:2 - To Ezekiel the earth is flat and has four corners.
Ezekiel 7:3-9 - God repeats his plan to pour out his fury on everyone, promising again to have pity on no one. By so doing he says that "ye shall know that I am the Lord that smiteth." Indeed, who would behave so viciously? Only the merciful God.
Ezekiel 7:13-28 - God says plague and famine will grip the city while war rages outside. And anyone who tries to escape will live a shameful life and be robbed blind by people sent from God. Then, a wicked nation will invade, taking their homes, desecrating the temples and humbling the leaders. No matter what, they're screwed.
Ezekiel 8:2 - Ezekiel gets to see God's loins again. (See 1:27 for the first time.)
Ezekiel 8:18 - God promises again to slaughter everyone. He says that he will ignore them when they plead with him for mercy.
Ezekiel 9:4-10 - God sends a "man clothed with linen" to mark the foreheads of the men who will be saved. Apparently only men are considered good enough to keep; the others (unmarked men, "maids", little children, and women) are to be slaughtered. God says he'll "fill the courts with the slain" and will have pity on no one.
Ezekiel 11:10-12 - God says that when you fall by the sword, then you'll know that he is the Lord.
Ezekiel 12:15-16, 20 - When God kills everyone in the city, then you'll know that he is the Lord. (Who else would be so cruel?)
Ezekiel 13:14-15 - God gets mad at a wall and says, "Thus will I accomplish my wrath upon the wall," and people will be destroyed with it.
Ezekiel 14:6-8 - God again promises to destroy those that dare worship something or someone other than him.
Ezekiel 14:8-9 - God deceives some of his prophets and then kills them for believing his lies.
Ezekiel 14:8, 13, 15, 17, 19, 21 - When really bad things happen (like you get eaten by wild beasts, get killed in war, get sick and die, etc.), then you'll know that it was God that did it to you.
Ezekiel 15:6-7 - God plans to burn the inhabitants of Jerusalem. When he does so then everyone will know that he is the Lord. (Who else could be so cruel?)
Ezekiel 18:4, 17-20 - According to this verse, sons are not punished for their father’s sins. But this is directly contradicted in many places in the Bible.
Ezekiel 18:24 - God will kill you for making a single mistake; all your good deeds he will ignore.
Ezekiel 18:32 - God says, "For I have no pleasure in the death of him that dieth." That's funny, because as much killing as he does in this book and in the whole Bible, you'd think he must be getting some kicks out killing people.
Ezekiel 20:30-31 - God continues to rant about other religious beliefs, calling it "whoredom."
Ezekiel 21:3-5 - Here we are told that God will kill everyone, both the just and the unjust. But elsewhere in Ezekiel the Bible tells us that the just "shall surely live."
Ezekiel 21:28-32 - Ezekiel Prophesies (in the 6th century BCE) that Ammonites will not be remembered any more. They continued to exist until the 2nd century CE. (And they are still remembered in the Bible.)
Ezekiel 21:31-32 - God continues to dream about how he will kill people, but he just can't seem to come up with any new ways.
Ezekiel 22:30-31 - God couldn't find anyone to stand up to him, so he's going to destroy everyone.
Ezekiel 23:1-46 - Two sisters were guilty of "committing whoredoms" by pressing their breasts and bruising "the teats of their virginity." As a punishment, one sister's nakedness was discovered, her children were taken from her, and she was killed by the sword. And the fate of the surviving sister was even worse: Her nose and ears were cut off, she was made to "pluck off" her own breasts, and then after being raped and mutilated, she is stoned to death. Praise the merciful God.
Ezekiel 24:3-14 God gets all excited about cooking with "scum" and human flesh, saying "kindle the fire, consume the flesh, and spice it well, and let the bones be burned ... Woe to the bloody city, to the pot whose scum is therein, and whose scum is not gone out of it." And finally, "her great scum went not forth out of her: her scum shall be in the fire."
Ezekiel 25:4-16 - God kills pretty much everyone in sight. He does this to let everyone know that he is the Lord. Among those slaughtered mercilessly are the Edomites, contrary to Deuteronomy 23:7, where God says they are not to be "abhorred, for he is thy brother."
Ezekiel 26:6, 8 - God explains that he will have the "daughters which are in the field be slain by the sword" so that "they shall know that I am the Lord."
Ezekiel 26:14, 21 - Ezekiel prophesies that Tyrus will be completely destroyed by Nebuchadrezzar and will never be built again. But it wasn't destroyed, as evidenced by the visits to Tyre by Jesus and Paul (Mt.15:21, Mk.7:24, 31, Acts 21:3).
Ezekiel 27:36 - Ezekiel repeats the false prophecy of the destruction and perpetual desolation of Tyrus. (See Mt.15:21, Mk.7:24, 31, Acts 21:3).
Ezekiel 28:10 - Watch out or God will make you "die the deaths of the uncircumcised", which is, no doubt, a most unpleasant death.
Ezekiel 28:22-23 - God says that Zidon will know that he is the Lord when he sends "pestilence and blood into her streets."
Ezekiel 28:24-26 - Ezekiel conveys God's promise that Israel will reside in their homeland safely, never again to be tormented by neighbouring nations. One need only look to the newspaper for evidence that this has not been fulfilled. Israelites continued to be scattered from the area and tormented by other powers, including the Romans and Turks. In the 20th century, they were given a large portion of their homeland back, only to have the recent residents (Palestinians) revolt. After that, the surrounding Arab nations invaded Israel, though they were turned back. Israel has had nothing near a peaceful existence, nor does it appear they'll enjoy one anytime soon.
Ezekiel 29:7-8 - God makes "all their loins to be at a stand." When this is achieved, God will get out his sword and "cut off man and beast out of thee." Ouch!
Ezekiel 29:10-13 - Ezekiel makes another false prophecy: that Egypt would be uninhabited by humans or animals for forty years after being destroyed by Nebuchadrezzar. But there was never a time when Egypt was uninhabited. Humans and animals have lived there continuously since Ezekiel's prophecy.
Ezekiel 29:14-15 - Egypt "shall be the basest of the kingdoms; neither shall it exalt itself any more above the nations: for I will diminish them, that they shall no more rule over the nations." But Egypt remained an important and often powerful nation. During the Tulunid dynasty (868-905 CE), for example, Egypt was the centre of a small empire and conquered Syria.
Ezekiel 30:3 - "The day ... of the LORD is near, a cloudy day; it shall be the time of the heathen." God plans to wipe out the heathen. When? Soon. Really soon.
Ezekiel 30:4-26 - God will punish Egypt and her allies by sending Nebuchadrezzar to "fill the land with the slain." God will top it off by making "the rivers dry," selling the land to "the wicked," making "the land waste," lighting fires, destroying their idols and altars, and having the young men "fall by the sword."
Ezekiel 30:12 - The river’s of Egypt (identified as the Nile in NIV, NASB, and RSV) shall dry up. This has never occurred.
Ezekiel 32:13 - God takes a break from killing people while he kills all the animals in Egypt.
Ezekiel 32:9-20 - God wants people to get to know him better. That's why he kills so many people. He just wants them to know that he is the Lord.
Ezekiel 32:21-32 - God's got a hardcore grudge against the "uncircumcised."
Ezekiel 33:27-29 - God plans some more killing by the sword, beasts, and the pestilence.
Ezekiel 35:3-15 - God "will fill his mountains with his slain men." Among these slain are the inhabitants of Idumea, the Edomites. Again, this contradicts with God's own decree in Deuteronomy 23:7.
Ezekiel 36:5-6 - God is furious and is out of control with the fire of his jealousy.
Ezekiel 38:18-20 - God says that he will get so darned angry that his fury will come up in his face and that even the fish, birds, beasts, and bugs will shake when they see him. God will throw a tantrum, toppling every wall and mountain.
Ezekiel 38:21-23 - God will cause each man's sword to be against his brother; he will send disease and make it rain fire and brimstone. He says that by doing this he'll magnify and sanctify himself and let everyone know that he is the Lord.
Ezekiel 39:4, 17-20 - God will have "ravenous birds" and "beasts" eat human flesh and drink human blood until they are full and drunken of "my sacrifice, which I have sacrificed for you."
Ezekiel 39:10 - God tells the Israelites to "rob those that robbed them." This, of course, would break the seventh commandment, but maybe God figures that in this case two wrongs would make a right.
Ezekiel 39:17-20 - God is preparing a feast for the animals. He's going to have them eat human flesh until they are full and drink human blood until they are drunk. What a guy!
Ezekiel 44:19 - Apparently, if a priest has been in the temple chatting with God, some of God's "holiness" can rub off onto the priest and get stuck to his clothes. And, since God doesn't want just anyone getting hold to this "holiness," the priest has to change clothes.
