1 Chronicles – General
First and Second Chronicles is but a re-telling of what is told in First and Second Kings. The same old stories, a little left out, a little added, but in no respect made better or worse.
1 Chronicles 1-9 - The first nine chapters of First Chronicles are good examples of the "endless genealogies" that Paul tells us to avoid (see 1 Tim.1:4 and Tit.3:9). Wearisome as these chapters are, the rest of the book isn't much better. Consequently, First Chronicles is probably the most boring book in the Bible, maybe the most boring book in all of literature.
1 Chronicles 3:5-8 - This list of David's sons is given in two other places (2 Sam.5:14-16, 1 Chr.14:3-7), but none of them give the same set of names. In this list, for example, Nogah is missing, but it is included in the other two lists.
1 Chronicles 3:11-12, 15-16 - The gospel of Mathew 1:6-11 gives the same genealogy as is given here except Matthew, in an attempt to preserve the magical number 14, leaves out four generations (Joash, Amaziah, Azariah, and Jehoiakim).
1 Chronicles 13:9-10 - God, who has a tough time expressing his gratitude, kills Uzza for trying to keep the ark from falling.
1 Chronicles 16:30 - In this verse we are told that the earth is stable and does not move. If so, then it must not spin on its axis or travel about the sun.
1 Chronicles 16:34 - "For his mercy endures forever." Why then is the Bible so full of cruelties that he committed or commanded?
1 Chronicles 19:18 - On what must have been a particularly good day for killing but not so good for counting, David kills 7000 (2 Sam.10:18 says 700) men in chariots and 40,000 footmen (2 Sam.10:18 says they were horsemen).
1 Chronicles 20:3 - David tortures all the inhabitants of several cities "with saws, and with harrows of iron, and with axes." This must have been an example of the "sure mercies of David" that are praised in Acts 13:34.
1 Chronicles 21:1 - Was it Satan or God who "provoked David to number Israel"?
1 Chronicles 21:5 - According to this verse David's army had 1,100,000 men from Israel and 470,000 men from Judah, but 2 Sam.24:9 say the numbers were 800,000 and 500,000, respectively. Of course, either of these numbers is ridiculously high for a battle between two tribal armies in 1000 BCE. (The United States had about 1.37 million active duty soldiers in 2001.)
1 Chronicles 21:7, 10-15, 17 - God gets angry with David for counting the people (maybe he was upset because 2 Sam. and 1 Chr. disagree on the results) and, for a punishment, offers him three choices: Three (2 Sam.24:13 says seven) years of famine, three months to be destroyed by enemies, or three days of pestilence. When David can't make up his mind, God decides for him and sends a pestilence that kills 70,000 men. (Presumably women and children were also killed. If so, the total must have been more than 200,000.) In the middle of the slaughter, God "repents of the evil" that he was doing and tells the angel to stop the killing. One wonders what God had in mind in the first place, since it was David who was supposed to have sinned by taking the census, not the people. Even David was confused by this, and asked God, "these sheep, what have they done?"
1 Chronicles 22:14 - David provides Solomon with a fantastically large amount of gold and silver with which to build the temple: 100,000 talents of gold and 1,000,000 talents of silver. Since a talent was about 60 pounds, this would be about 3,000 tons of gold and 30,000 tons of silver. This would be about 96 million ounces of gold, which nearly as much as is currently in the United States depository in Fort Knox. Not bad for a small tribe in 1000 BCE.
1 Chronicles 29:7 - King David collects ten thousand drams (or darics) for the construction of the temple in Jerusalem. This is especially interesting since darics were coins named after King Darius I who lived some five hundred years after David.
1 Chronicles 29:29 - The acts of David are said to be found in the books of Samuel the seer, Nathan the prophet, and Gad the seer. Were these long-lost books supposed to be in the Bible? If so, how could God allow them to be lost? If not, why does God tell us about books that no longer exist (if they ever did)?
2 Chronicles – General
2 Chronicles 2:2 - Solomon enlists a huge workforce (over 150,000 men) to construct a small chapel. (See 1 Kg.6:2 where the dimensions of the building are given as approximately 90 feet [27.43m] long, 30 feet [9.14m] wide, and 45 feet [13.72] high.)
2 Chronicles 6:1 - Does God dwell in darkness or in light?
2 Chronicles 6:36 - "For there is no man which sinneth not." But according to 1 John (3:6, 9, 5:18) some people do not and indeed cannot, sin. Moreover, several individuals were perfect and therefore sinless: Noah, Asa, Job, Zechariah, and Elizabeth, Simeon, and Lot, for example.
2 Chronicles 6:42 - The author of 2 Chronicles talks about the mercies of David, but David was anything but merciful. For some examples of his behaviour see 2 Sam.12:31 and 1 Chr.20:3, where he saws, hacks, and burns to death the inhabitants of several cities.
2 Chronicles 7:5 - Solomon, when dedicating the temple, killed 22,000 oxen and 120,000 sheep. All the blood, guts, pain, and suffering must have made God very happy.
2 Chronicles 13:15-20 - God kills the king of Israel and helps Abijah kill 500,000 Israelites. "The children of Judah prevailed, because they relied upon the Lord God of their fathers." (That is, they had God on their side.)
2 Chronicles 13:21 - "But Abijah waxed mighty, and married fourteen wives." Apparently, in the eyes of God, a man's status is determined by the number of wives that he possesses.
2 Chronicles 14:8-13 - In the largest single God-assisted massacre in the bible, Asa, with God's help, kills one million Ethiopians.
2 Chronicles 15:13 - Whoever that does not seek the God of Israel should be executed.
2 Chronicles 15:17 - "The heart of Asa was perfect all his days". Really, then why does the Bible so often claim that no one is perfect?
2 Chronicles 16:12 - Asa, when he had a foot disease, went to physicians instead of seeking the Lord. Apparently, God disapproves of those who seek medical help rather than "seeking the Lord."
2 Chronicles 18:22 - God puts lies into the mouths of his prophets and speaks evil about people.
2 Chronicles 19:2 - Hate the sinner, or God will pour his wrath out on you.
2 Chronicles 21:9, 12 - Jehoram began to reign after Elijah went to heaven (2 Kg.2:11, 8:16), so how could King Jehoram receive a letter from him?
2 Chronicles 21:14-19 - If you're not careful, god will kill your wives and children. Then he'll make you so sick that your bowels will fall out. He's just that type of guy.
2 Chronicles 24:20 - This verse says that Zechariah was the son of Jehoiada, but Jesus said that Zechariah was the son of Berechiah (Mt.23:35).
2 Chronicles 25:11-12 - Amaziah, with the help of God, kills 10,000 people; another 10,000 he left alive so that he could have them thrown off a cliff to break them in pieces.
2 Chronicles 26:19-21 - God makes Uziah a leper for burning incense without a license.
2 Chronicles 28:6, 8 - Pekah kills 120,000 people in one day "because they had forsaken the Lord God of their fathers."
2 Chronicles 29:22, 24 - The priests kill bullocks, rams, and lambs. The blood of the dead animals is then sprinkled on the altars.
2 Chronicles 32:31 - God has to test Hezekiah to see what is in his heart. But in several other Bible verses, it is claimed that God knows the minds and hearts of everyone.
2 Chronicles 34:24-25, 28 - God vows to "bring evil upon this place ... even all the curses that are written in the book." He says his "wrath shall be poured out upon this place, and shall not be quenched."
2 Chronicles 36:16-17 - God gets angry with his people, so he sends the king of the Chaldees to kill all the "young men with the sword." He has compassion for no one, not even old men that are "stooped for age." In his tender mercy and loving kindness he has those all slaughtered.
2 Chronicles 36:22-23 - "The LORD his God be with him, and let him go up." Now how's that for a strange ending? Actually, the last two verses from 2 Chronicles are taken from the first few verses of Ezra. It just happens that whoever decided to tack these verses on (for whatever reason) forgot to finish the sentence!
